Why does Facebook Think I’m Fat?

It all began when I first started seeing ads on my Facebook page for the “Miraculous Açaí Diet”.  Did Facebook somehow know that I had ordered an  Açaí smoothie at my local Robek’s?  Or that I occasionally cover my muffin top with a ruched sweater? Nah… couldn’t be.

I had to assume the modern snake oil salesmen were targeting everyone… you know… casting a wide net and all of that.  So I clicked the “Not Interested” button and moved on with my life.  Was the seed of paranoia planted right then?  Perhaps.  But it was so small, I barely noticed it.

Next came the ads to “Lose Weight with Jillian”.  Okay – I’m staring to get the message and the paranoia seed is now growing into a little sprout.  Facebook might just think I’m fat.

How is this possible?  Is it looking at my posted pictures and snickering with it’s friends?  Or is it secretly looking in through my laptop and seeing the bowl of popcorn or the daily ice cream sandwich and quietly tsk-tsking?  ”But Facebook, I swear the popcorn is ‘Light Butter’ and the ice cream is low fat.  No really, I promise.”

Then the ads relax for awhile, only offering me dates with hot young men who don’t actually exist and millionaires who may exist, but who definitely do not look like the guy in the picture.  Phew.  Okay.  I feel better.  At least Facebook thinks I’m dateable.  And I did tell Facebook about my single status, so he didn’t have to snoop to find that one out.

But as it turns out, Facebook was just setting me up for a fall.  Giving me that false sense of confidence you get when things seem to be okay for awhile.  And then BAM.  He hits me with ads for dating services for “Curvy Women” and ads for men who like a “Real Woman They Can Get a Hold Of”.  Yikes.  Now, I’m sure of it.  Facebook thinks I’m fat.

This is so not okay.  Either Facebook (bastard that he is) wants to keep my self-esteem low so that he can pounce with a ridiculous offer when I’ve just polished off the Haagen Dazs .  OR he thinks there is a good chance that ANY woman over 40 is fat.  Either way – he sucks.

 

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